Grateful for Death
- Heidi Vilchez-Teller
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Could we transition from feelings of loss and emptiness to peace & gratitude? My Dad did and I think thats why he had to go. It was the place he needed to arrive at in this lifetime, acceptance and even gratitude for what is. His epiphany became my reference point and I have arrived in that same place less than 4 years from his death. Could that haunting of grief be a generational wound that we ended up breaking together? Could the greatest gifts come in the void of such huge loss?
If you have ever experienced the death portal it is really profound. It is the biggest gift, to see life exactly as it is- knowing what is important and fleeting. Perspective narrows and our new lives begin. What could be? What could I transform into? How could this be alchemized for my highest purpose?
Within two years my husband and I lost our fathers, they were young and should have had many years left. Years of love, laughter, rowdy grandchildren, travel, music, art. When those years were cut short it quickly became an emergency for us to live as fully as possible. So we jumped off the cliff, moved to Florida to be near my husband's childhood friends, near the beach, in an environment that felt more in tune with our souls. The move that may have never happened, or at least not so soon, if we didn't lose these monuments in our families. A realization that my father never enjoyed even a day of retirement, so shouldn't we live in a permanent vacation?
Immediately upon arriving in our new home we made friends, many of them & on our street. Our first hurricane season really solidified the bonds. We have an amazing group of families, the women vibe, as do the men & the children. It is an astounding beauty we discovered here, a life so stunning I didn't know to be possible. So good that I didn't know it to be a manifestation to desire. In fact before arriving here my manifestation list read, "one aligned Mom friend, raising young children, on a spiritual path". The universe chuckled and gave me 6, that is abundance. The creator wants more for us than we would ever know, I just had to grow the vessel to receive it which took nearly ten years.
I look back at all that has happened in the last almost 4 years since my Dad left his most recent incarnation and truly am grateful. It is duality always, I miss him in human form AND I feel him with me more than ever before. He had to leave for me to evolve, it really was a loss that broke me and put me together in a truer way, with more honesty and zest for this gift of life.
Living in this new place, surrounded by inspiration and expansive people, is where by business birthed. I just want the divine to use me as a channel. May I have the words & advice to help others live a life that is more authentic. A life where they can thrive and evolve and know how worthy they are.
A concept has taken up so much space in my brain and heart lately, came to me while listening to Slowly by Olivia Dean. What if we held one another so gently and softly like babies? After all, aren't we trying to get back to the inner child in each of us? Closer to our true essence? Careers in line with the passions, magic & interests we had as children? If we are in fact interacting with the little us, could we be more patient? Could we always assume innocent intent? Could we extend ourselves more grace and care and by doing that for ourselves also extend it to others?
My father started the work and made it possible for me to get to this place of gratitude rather quickly. Time isn't linear so even if it had taken 20 years, does it really matter? Either way I see it as a freedom from suffering that couldn't have been possible without him. A few weeks before he passed he told my sister that he had finally arrived at a place where he was grateful for his own Dad's death. My Grandpa passed when my Dad was about 8, suddenly and tragically. A loss so profound he refused to attend the funeral, a loss that in many ways defined his life's struggles for the next 50+ years. He said, I see now that if he hadn't have left so many beautiful things in my life may never have happened. I see now how his death made way for so much good, and well I think arriving at ultimate acceptance is the entire point. I am so grateful for it all, there is duality in it all.
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